My Little Academy: Fanfiction is Magic
by Iron Gall and Glyph
Summary: Welcome to the Royal Fanfiction Academy of Equestria, a MLP OFU in the styles of OFUM and HFA, where the canons themselves take on the task of improving writers.
1. Building the School

Disclaimer: We do not own My Little Pony, My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic, or any of the characters used in the show or other created materials. They are the property of Hasbro, Inc., and were created by Lauren Faust.

All other characters were created by us for use in this OFU or other similar properties unless directly stated. Characters that were not created by us are used with permission.

We also do not own the concept of Official Fanfiction Universities, which originally began with Miss Cam, with the Official Fanfiction University of Middleearth, or the PPC, which was the creation of Jay and Acacia.

* * *

><p>"Applejack, are you <em>sure<em> it's supposed to go like that?" Twilight Sparkle asked.

A massive construction site was rising up from the edge of the Everfree Forest, the blank and forbidding stone walls looking like nothing else for miles around.

Applejack looked somewhat affronted. "O' course it is, Twi, the blueprints show, uh, where did the blueprints go? Ah coulda sworn Ah-"

"I have them! I have them! Ooh, are we making changes to them?" Pinkie Pie jumped up and down, which sent the yellow hard hat atop her head bouncing.

"No, Pinkie, we can't afford any more changes at this point." A dark gray pegasus fluttered down from the upper workings, landing somewhat unsteadily on the grass near the cluster of ponies. "And Twilight is right, the tower only needs five windows on each side, not seven. The scale here is smaller."

Applejack snorted. "Can't say I approve of this, uh, wha'd you call it? Stallionist design? It's mighty depressing to look at."

Rarity and a turquoise unicorn trotted over; Rarity had another copy of the blueprints floating in front of them, indicating something.

"Stalinist," the pegasus corrected. "And I won't argue that. But it fits the theme, it's distinctive, and more importantly it's no-frills. And the one thing we don't have a lot of is time."

"We'd probably have more time," the turquoise unicorn chimed in, "if you weren't such a perfectionist, Iron Gall. We've gone through how many designs before you settled on this one? Gothic Revival? Georgian? Art Deco? Brutalist?" Here, Rarity shuddered beside her. "Whatever it is Pinkie came up with? As it is, we'll barely be able to finish on time before the students arrive."

The pegasus gave an indignant snort, but nodded. Twilight picked up her copy of the blueprints, holding it out to compare. "I think we're going to run short on office space in the west wing, since it has to house the kitchens for the cafeteria too."

"We can probably find some space in the tower," Rarity suggested. "We would have to move the administration up another floor, however..."

"Yay!" Pinkie cheered. "Are you sure we can't put it at the very, very tippy-top?"

The turquoise unicorn grimaced. "That means we'll have to climb even more stairs."

Iron Gall grinned, flapping his wings. "Not a problem for me, Glyph m'dear. How's the inhibitor coming?"

"Slow going," Glyph replied. "We've worked out the tweaks we needed to fix as far the central design goes."

"At least now that we figured out how to properly attune the crystals," Twilight added.

"But the receivers still need some more work." Here, Glyph raised her front left hoof, showing the silver ring that encompassed her ankle. A single, small gem sparkled with an inner light. "I'm not sure this design will work too well with students, it's too easy for it to fall off."

"Maybe a necklace, then," Rarity suggested. "Or a choker. Something harder to remove."

"Don't you gals think it'll be a mite silly with havin' a buncha colts and stallions roamin' around in girly jewelery?" Applejack sounded dubious.

Iron Gall shrugged. "Well, the PPC told me having a receiver system was necessary for this level of shapeshifting such and such, and, well." He stared down at his own hoof-ring. "'Girly jewelry' kind of fits the bill for this canon." He looked back up, sending a pointed, slightly pleading look at Rarity. "Maybe the designs for the guys can be a bit less... ornamented?"

The unicorn nodded. "I'll get right on it. If... you don't think you need my help with the construction." She gave one last distasteful glance at the building before walking off across the campus. "It's still so... drab."

"It's _streamlined__._" There was an annoyed edge in Iron Gall's voice. "It'll look better when we get the tower roofs on anyway."

"Speaking of, where _is_ Rainbow Dash?" Twilight frowned. "Her team was supposed to be working on the west roof half an hour ago."

"I'll go check." Iron Gall flapped his wings a few times, as if he was unsure they would work. "I swear, if she's kicked back on a cloud somewhere..." Then he took off, wheeling up to the scattered pegasi hovering over the unfinished wing.

Glyph shook her head as he left. "Celestia help us all if the students find out that he's a softy at heart. He's all bark and no bite. Er, does that one have a pony version?" She suddenly looked sheepish.

"All hat and no cattle?" Applejack offered. "Or maybe that's just one o' mine. Don't see why it couldn't work."

"I think that's just one of yours," Glyph said.

"Anyways," Twilight started to say, "We should get back to work. Rarity, do you want to join us back at the treehouse?"

"We could really use your help," Glyph added.

"_Well__,_ when you put it _that _way, I do suppose I could lend a hoof," Rarity said, with a toss of her mane. "Now that I think of it, I _might _have one or two ideas for those receivers we'll need. Anything to help, of course."

Applejack snorted, and stowed her copy of the blueprints away in her saddlebag. "Ah'm goin' back down to the construction site. Pinkie, ya comin'?"

"Wheeeeeeeeee!" A pink and yellow streak whizzed past her, which stopped temporarily at about the halfway mark to retreat and pick up the yellow hard hat when it very briefly became an entirely pink streak.

"Ah'm takin' that as a yeah. Ah'll see ya'll later." With that, Applejack cantered off.

The late morning mist boiling out of the forest wrapped itself around the site, shrouding the workers on the ground and dulling the sounds of construction. In the dim light, the building loomed out of the mist, its dark, blocky shape seeming strange and foreboding, almost ageless.

Giving it a last look, Glyph had to agree with her co-coordinator on one thing. It was certainly distinctive.


	2. No Prank

Terry Branson stared drunkenly at his laptop screen. A cheap headset sat on his head crookedly, its wires knotted together, dangling until they lead up to the side jacks. "I am telling you, man, this is the best shit you will _ever_ read, because there is nothing more fucking hilarious than Fluttershy mauling shit. I mean, dude, she snapped a damned bear's neck!"

"Doesn't sound all that funny to me," a voice replied, from the headset. "I really don't get why the hell you're finding this cartoon so funny. It's for little _girls_, Ter. And goddamn, get your ass back to TF2, asshole!"

"The little girls can go the hell away, this shit's too good for them." He pulled out a beer from the case at his feet, flicked the cap off with the bottle opener on his keychain, and took a long drink.

"God dammit, are you drunk again?"

Another voice cut in, higher and flatter. "Man, if you start singing again I'm gonna kickban you until you sober up."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Terry took another swig. "You're just pissed someone convinced you to sing Disney songs last time you got on drunk. I'm going to go take a piss and a smoke break."

With that, he stood up, untangling himself from the wires, and tabbed out to his desktop- this was purely out of habit by now, due to having a nosy little sister at home- and stepped out of his dorm room, palming his carton and lighter off the desk before he left.

The corridor was, probably because it was nearly four AM, utterly quiet. Terry couldn't even hear anything from any of the dorm rooms as he walked down to the main hall, passing by flyers for clubs- the Anime Appreciation Society, Geology Rocks, Juggling Club- and student activities- Yoga for Youth, Saturday Skiiing- before he finally exited the building.

Outside, he leaned against the brick wall, pulled out a cigarette, and his lighter.

He flipped it between his fingers, studying it a bit glumly. It was an old Zippo, real old, with scratches covering the polished metal exterior. The Zippo was his only high school graduation present, from his dad, who got it from _his_ dad for graduating high school, and so on. Compared to the cars and laptops his friends had received, it was a really shitty present.

On the other hand, at least it was still working, three years later, and for sixty years before he even got his hands on it. He flicked it open, pulled out a cigarette, put it between his lips, and lit it.

Or at least, he tried to light it.

Instead, the flame from the Zippo suddenly _shot_ up a good foot, turning bright green, and before his unbelieving eyes the smoke seemed to ball up and _harden_ into a scroll of paper as thick as his wrist. He managed to catch about half of it,. The rest and his Zippo dropped onto the grass.

He gathered the loose portions, and pocketed his Zippo before he began to read what appeared to be the main letter.

_Mister Terry Branson,_

_You have been accepted into the Royal Fanfiction Academy of Equestria as a student. To be honest, it's not that you've been accepted, it's that we've become aware of your poor writing. The Royal Fanfiction Academy of Equestria's goal is to change that, and support you on the way to becoming a better writer._

_You are charged with writing bad My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction, knowingly and gleefully causing pain and suffering to the characters. To prevent further physical, emotional, and mental damages, we are now asking that authors gain an Equestrian Fanfiction License through our academy._

_Please fill out the enclosed forms and "mail" them with due haste._

_Twilight Sparkle, Head Administrative Assistant to Coordinators Glyph and Iron Gall, Prized Student of Princess Celestia, Element of Magic_

A red wax seal was pressed below this. Further down, he noticed in smaller lettering,

_This parchment is from the Royal Fanfiction Academy of Equestria, and under joint patronage of both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. All documents from the Royal Fanfiction Academy of Equestria will bear the wax seal of its crest. Any attempts to forge documents as coming from this academy or from its administration will not bear this seal and entitle the forger to be banished to the moon._

"You're shittin' me." He looked around, half expecting the glint of a camera, but saw none. Terry dropped the papers, ground them into the grass with the heel of his sneaker, flicked the now wasted cigarette into the parking lot, and went back inside.

After a short stop at the bathrooms, he went back to his dorm room.

The parchment scroll was sitting on top of his laptop, in perfect condition.

Terry just blinked for a few moments, then shook his head. "Ha ha, real funny. You can come out now, Kyle."

Nobody burst out from the closets, so with a sigh he set the papers aside and opened the laptop.

Staring back at him was a stylized crest of the moon and sun on a blue background, and underneath it was written _THIS __COMPUTER __HAS __BEEN __LOCKED __ON __THE __AUTHORITY __OF __THE __RFAE__._

Terry spent about four minutes just sitting there, staring at that screen and letting his brain slowly piece together everything that had just happened. Then he slowly turned his attention to the scroll, still sitting next to his laptop.

He removed the letter, and began to look over the form, as he grabbed a pen.

"Might as well play along," he grumbled, and began to fill it out. "My name's damned obvious. Same with gender. But why does it ask for coloration and my favorite race? What the hell do they mean by coloration anyways?" He filled both questions out, eventually going with green and black, and unicorn.

Figuring it was a joke, he put the Zippo down as his luxury item, marked that he had watched all of the episodes many times ("But hell, was it worth it, even if I missed an exam."), and was very familiar with canon.

He wrinkled his nose at them asking if he wrote slash ("Gross, who the hell writes that shit?"), and definitely no to Mary Sues or Stus, and that he was definitely not in love with any characters ("That's just weird.").

Terry realised he had skipped over a question, went back, and gave it a hard look. "Who _is_ my favorite character?" After a moment of considering between Spike and Fluttershy, he circled Spike's name.

He snickered at the fears listed, and circled 'Spiders' and 'Being Banished to the Moon', and soon he passed out at his laptop. Eventually, the stylized crest and the writing on the screen faded away to nothing, and were replaced with '_ENROLLMENT __FORM __DELIVERED_'.

The scroll, sitting on the desk, slowly began to smolder of its own volition-and then, in a flash of green, it was gone, not even charring the wood, as the smoke poured out through the open window and into the night sky.

* * *

><p>The content of the form that Terry filled out is below, and is available for all who are willing to be students. Beware, though, OFUs are quite the wild ride!<p>

Name:

Gender:

Coloration (body and mane):

Favorite pony race: Earth/Pegasus/Unicorn

Please specify one luxury item that you require at RFAE:

I have: Watched all the episodes once/Watched all the episodes many times/Watched some of the episodes/watched none of the episodes

I am: Very Familiar with Canon/ Slightly Familiar with Canon/ Reasonable with Canon/ Minimally Knowledgeable about Canon/ What is Canon?

I have written slash: yes/no

I have written a Mary Sue or Marty Stu: yes/no

My favorite character is: Twilight Sparkle/Rarity/Applejack/Fluttershy/Rainbow Dash/Pinkie Pie/Spike/Other (Please specify)

I am in love with a Canon character: yes/no

If so, whom?:

I have a fear of: The Everfree Forest/Princess Celestia/Spiders/Nightmare Moon/Princess Luna/Being Banished to the Moon/Other (Please specify)


	3. Arriving

Sorry for the long update period, for all those who have been waiting. Unfortunately, between the two of us, life hit hard and fast these last two months. Don't worry, though, we do intend to keep writing and updating! Our thanks to** Chatvert** for beta reading this chapter.

* * *

><p>Heather Gray blinked, shaking her head. It felt like she was trying to think through clouds...<p>

Vaguely, she gathered that she wasn't lying on her bed. The bench she was on was thickly cushioned, but it wasn't familiar—and it was moving. There was a window in front of her, and orange light was leaking through it. She reached a hoof up to it, to try to push it open and see—

A _hoof__?_

She screamed, closed her eyes, and then opened them again.

It was still a hoof connected to what was definitely a horse's foreleg, with a clean, light, soft gray coat of horse hair.

Heather screamed again.

The bench had stopped moving, and she vaguely perceived it was a coach of some kind... _where__was__she__? __What__had__happened__?_ Maybe it was a dream. She hit herself in the face with the hoof, and quickly ruled that one out. It hurt too much... and it hurt differently, as she stared not down at a nose but at a _snout_ she'd bopped, a muzzle. She'd really turned into a—

There was the noise of hooves outside, and a face appeared at the coach window, blocking the orange light. Heather blinked—it was another horse, _a __pony_ said something in her mind, tan-colored with an intelligent-looking face and enormous blue eyes.

"Wow, you sure can scream, miss!" It said. _Said__!_

"Y-you can talk!" She blinked, looking around at herself. "_I_ can talk!"

"Well, I'd sure hope so!" The stallion, for the voice was definitely male, pushed the window open and leaned inside. "Would cause problems otherwise."

"Wh..." Heather felt twenty questions collide in her mind, and the stronger among them forced their way out in a half-shout. "What's going on? Why am I a pony? Where am I? Why am I—"

"Wooooah, there, girl, one at a time!" The stallion recoiled a bit, smiling. "You're in a coach on the Ponyville-Everfree road, on yer way to the Academy. That help at all?"

The word _Academy_ triggered a rush of memories—the strange letter in her fireplace, filling out the forms—she blinked. "You mean that was..."

The pony chuckled. "Di'nt your mother ever teach you to be careful what you sign?" He climbed back from the window, though his face was still visible. "Anyway, they told me to tell you not to worry, yer perfectly safe and everything will be explained at con-vo-ca-tion." He pronounced the last word with measured steadiness, disappearing around the front of the coach again. "Made sure I wouldn't forget. My name's Caramel, by the by. If'n you like, we're just coming over the hill, you should be able to see it soon enough from the windows."

"See what?" The coach started moving again, now at a fast trot, and Heather shuffled along the bench towards the open window—it was hard to move, she didn't have any hands or toes and her joints bent all the wrong ways. With some difficulty, she stuck her head out of the window, looking ahead—and felt her jaw drop slowly open. "Oh."

Spread out before her was the most beautiful panorama she'd ever laid eyes on, an unspoilt band of nature running from horizon to horizon. In the background, a long chain of mountains curled across the edge of view, with a vast, jungle-like forest running right up to their bases. There were small clouds boiling over the forest in parts, but every other part of the sky was clear. The whole scene was lit in a brilliant orange by an enormous setting sun, dropping slowly behind the mountains, its rays dimmed by the low horizon enough to look almost directly at—if something hadn't been in the way.

Just in front of the sun, on the very edge of the enormous forest, a tall, forbidding block of stone jutted into the sky, sheer walls running straight up. Around the edges, intricate filigrees and detailing cast strange shadows along the blank walls, and the window wells were black pits, the faintest hint of filtering sunlight trickling through from the far side. In the center of the block, a tower rose to a height that was dizzying in comparison to the flat landscape around, the same tracing running up its corners to the top. Atop the tower, an ornate series of crenellations stepped up and up to a conical roof with a flagpole at the peak; the flags flying from it were impossible to make out, in front of the sun, but the roof itself glowed dully with a red-gold sheen in the light of the setting sun, as if it gave off a light all its own.

For a moment, Heather just stared at the apparition, completely at a loss for words. Then she gathered enough of a mind to ask "What... is that?"

"That'd be it, miss," Caramel replied, picking up his pace. "The Royal Fanfiction Academy."

She stared down at him, and he turned his head back for a moment, offering another smile. "Welcome to Equestria."

The forest rose above the carriage as it pulled to a halt in the shadow of the enormous building, the sun disappearing behind the trees. Heather could hear sounds from within as she climbed down on unsteady legs, sounds that seemed halfway between "back woods" and "deepest Amazon". In the quickly-disappearing sunlight, on legs she could still barely move, they sounded like they were closing in on her from all around—

Then, abruptly, a light appeared—a firefly lamp on a tall metal pole, shaking slightly from the kick Caramel had just dealt it. "The others should wake up right quick, ma'am. Just follow 'em to the main building, the meeting shouldn't be hard to spot."

Heather craned her neck upwards. From this close up, it seemed immensely high, shadowed stone dappled with windows glowing with warm light, and even more daunting than it was in the coach, now that she fully awake. "How could all this be real?"

"That question's a miite phi-lo-soph-i-cal, miss. Everything'll be explained inside. You best get along."

Heather nodded, setting off at a slow walk as the lights came up, getting used to moving on four legs rather than two. By the time she made it to the door, a few minutes later, she had barely managed to avoid falling over—twice—but was getting used to the rhythm.

Inside, she was greeted by a large lobby, and a gold and blue rug set at the doors, laid underneath her feet- no, hooves, now. Vaulted ceilings rose above her and the occasional other, still-shocked looking ponies. A chandelier stretched down from the highest point, glowing with light that still didn't quite reach the darkest points of the room, the corners where the tiled walls met the floor grading into shadows. The left and right walls both had doors which were currently closed, leaving the unlit corridor before her as only direction to go—deeper into the building.

At least, it was mostly unlit.

Bright colorful banners hung from the corridor's ceiling light wrapped wires, occasionally punctuating the darkness with 'WELCOME!' and 'THIS WAY!'. Wooden doors mounted with unreadable, gleaming brass plaques and even darker still intersecting corridors broke up the otherwise monotonous walls.

Finally, however, Heather reached a large pair of double doors, flanked on either side by stands of brightly colored balloons. Beyond lay an enormous auditorium that must have sunk deep into the foundation of the building; the path form the doors dropped down gradually, rich red carpeting unrolling to the stage at the bottom.

Within, scattered across the plush benches alone or in clusters, were an assortment of others who had arrived, still looking uncertain and antsy. After watching a few still-unsure-on-their-hooves ponies walk though, Heather warily followed, descending into the dimly lit auditorium.

She went and awkwardly sat in a mostly empty center row; for the most part, those who were present seemed to be close to the back of the auditorium, or pressed right up against the stage. Even from where she was seated, she could hear excited conversation from the ponies up at front.

Minutes passed, and the auditorium slowly filled in trickles until, from what Heather could tell, it was just about half full. Her row was no longer mostly empty, but nearly filled; all around she could see ponies in many different combinations of colors. Some were reasonable- complementing colors, like the sky blue and dark blue colt that was clutching a strange doll a row ahead of her, or just solid blocks of one color- and others... weren't. There was an entire row near the front full of black-and-red ponies, nearly invisible in the dim auditorium, and a several scattered throughout the various rows that were brightly colored enough she suspected they glowed in the dark.

Suddenly, the lights went off.

A male voice cried out from behind the curtain in a loud hiss. "Crusaders! The lights!"

There was a scramble of activity on the stage, and tiny forms could be seen darting back and forth from behind the curtains. In short order, the curtains raised, and a spotlight came on—about five feet to the left of center stage. A dark-gray pegasus with brick-colored hair, wearing black-framed glasses and a tired smile stepped into the light, squinting up past it as the sound of something being shoved grindingly across hardwood rose out of the darkness. "Okay, can you spot the podium?"

There was a moment's pause, and the spotlight slid to the right, illuminating a podium that had appeared on center stage—and catching a glimpse of two small ponies ducking away from it, having pushed it there. "Perfect," came the pegasus' voice from the darkness, and momentarily he appeared behind the stand, pushing his spectacles up his nose and placing a microphone in a small holder. "Thanks, Sweetie Belle, that'll do it."

_Who__'__s __this__, __one __of __the __teachers__?_ Heather thought. _He __looks __so __dull__. _

The pony looked out across the audience, took a visible, deep breath, and began to speak.

"Hello, every...pony. On behalf of myself, and the rest of the staff, I'd like to welcome you to the Royal Fanfiction Academy of Equestria." He tapped his chest with a hoof. "I'm Iron Gall, and I'm one of two co-coordinators of this year's academy program. The other is my partner, and my very good friend, Glyph."

He gestured off to his left as he spoke, and another spot snapped on, illuminating the tail and back half of a turquoise blue pony standing off to one side of the podium. After half a beat, the pony stepped backwards, fully into the light, revealing herself to be a unicorn—who was sending a grin to the audience and a glare up into the lighting rigs.

The auditorium filled with sniggers and whistles.

Glyph rolled her eyes. "So we're all clear, he means work partner, not romantic partner."

Iron Gall stifled a snicker. "Perish the thought, and woe betide those who don't." He turned his attention back to the audience. "The two of us have been placed in charge of this academy at the behest of the Princesses. As your application forms so _tactfully_ put it—"

"—Your fanfiction needs work," Glyph cut in. "Poorly written doesn't even cover it."

"Work is understating it, too, frankly." Iron Gall's gaze hardened into a glare, and his speech took on a biting, measured beat. "I would not have given some of the _dreck_ you ponies have written the courtesy of a second scan-over had it not been my job to do specifically that."

Heather began to fume, and the other members of the audience were beginning to mutter angrily.

"It's just fanfiction!" one from the front cried out.

Other protests and shouts joined in. "Who cares?"

"It's not like it's real or anything!"

"Just like how you're not really in Equestria, right now?" came the reply.

Silence fell like a stone, and Gall nodded a quick thanks to his partner before turning back to his spiel. "And even if I was telling you this back on Earth, it would be beside the point. I thoroughly believe that you should never let the content of your work be an excuse to let the quality slide." He grinned. "The difference is, I'm running this railroad, and you ain't. And since we _are_ in Equestria, and you _are_ causing problems by writing terrible stories, you're not going to get your pen-privileges back until you can write something Glyph and I can read without going for the knives." He turned, slightly, standing half-sideways behind the podium so that his flank could be seen. "And, as you might have guessed by our _noms __de __guerre _and our _marques __mignons_, we are not exactly _lax_. Fortunately for you all, while you'll be sending a school year here, when you get back, it'll be right when you left. Consider it a kindness on our part."

Heather squinted, and could just barely make out an inkwell with a black drop on the co-coordinator's side. She turned her attention to Glyph, who was sporting a feather quill mark. _Writers__. __Professionals__?_ The pit of her stomach sank, as she realized that all the other comers she had seen so far were blank flanks—and, bending around in the low light, she realized that she was one, too!

"That said," Glyph began, "Please welcome Princess Luna and Princess Celestia to the stage, as they begin the convocation ceremony."

A small pattering of clumsy but enthusiastic applause rose from the audience, as they tried to figure out how, exactly, to clap with hooves.

_The __princesses __are _here? Heather's stomach did a backflip—off a ten foot riser—while she watched the two winged unicorns trot onto the stage and over to the podium. Soft music began to play as a limelight turned on, showing a musical quartet.

"Welcome, again, to the Royal Fanfiction Academy of Equestria," Princess Celestia said. "I'm happy to see that so many of you decided to join us here for this year in hopes of improving your writing, beyond just watching the show and learning along with Twilight Sparkle and her friends. Writing, just like friendship, has a magic of its own. Without good writing, my little ponies would never have made a strong enough connection to many of you to become fans in the first place. Good writing inspires new ideas, and helps you convey things to whoever is there to listen, read, or watch. To quote one writer, 'In good writing, words become one with things.'

"That, in its heart, is what we hope for you to be able to achieve here; to make it so that you, who have already poured so much of yourselves into enjoying the world of Equestria, are able to shape your words into things that ring true for others, and share that joy. During this school year I will be glad to call all of you my little ponies."

With that said, Celestia turned, so her side was facing the front of the stage, and raised her head, straightening so her horn was pointing right up at the ceiling; Luna did the same, the two princesses mirroring each other. Magic glowed from their horns, and a beam went up, up, and up, disappearing out of sight.

The back of the auditorium suddenly became bright, light streaming in from the outside corridor.

Celestia turned towards the audience once more. "The new school year has officially begun."

Luna nodded, and the lights all across the stage went up slightly, revealing a line of familiar-looking ponies filing in from off to the right, ready to speak at the podium. "As it is late and you've traveled far, we won't keep you long. I'm sure we don't need to spend too much time introduc-"

A roar of shouting drowned her out.

"RAINBOW DASH! RAINBOW DASH!"

"PINKIE PIIIIIIEEEEE!"

"T-SPARX!"

"APPLEJACK! YOU'RE THE BEST!"

"RARITY IS BEST PONY!"

"FLUTTERSHY! PLEASE MARRY ME, FLUTTERSHY!"

Heather found herself half-out of her seat already. The hall was rising into an uproar, the Main Six were _right__there_, they were so close, she could be on the stage in a—

**"****SILENCE****, **_**PLEASE**__**!**_**"**

Silence fell, even more quickly than the last time. All eyes in the hall from the princesses to the newest student were turned on Iron Gall, who was glaring furiously at the hall, wings spread, breathing hard.

Glyph just laughed. "You'll pull something if you keep doing that."

The co-coordinator took a deep breath, folded his wings, and pushed his glasses back up his muzzle. "Probably. Er, sorry, Ms. Sparkle, carry on."

Twilight Sparkle cleared her throat. "Um, thanks for the warm welcome, everypony." She and the others had backed well away from the podium and the front of the stage; the microphone was now dangling in front of her, held up by her magic. "Classes will be starting tomorrow, and I know we're all excited."

To her left, Rainbow Dash snorted loud enough that the microphone was able to pick it up.

Twilight shot a glance at her, but otherwise continued on. "Each semester you will be taking six classes, with a variety of additional mandatory seminars throughout the school year. I won't be teaching any of the classes, unfortunately, since I'll be helping to make sure everything runs smoothly."

"Lucky," Rainbow Dash whispered to Pinkie Pie. She was soon hoof-cuffed by Applejack.

"Twi's tryin' to _talk_, Rainbow," Applejack hissed under her breath. "Don't ya think yer foolin' around can wait?"

Twilight raised her voice even louder, her eyes locked on the audience completely. "To aid in as much comprehension as possible, there will be two sets of four classes that cover a different, but broad base; whichever set you do not take this semester you will take in the spring. The other two classes are so important everyone will be taking them this semester. Additionally-"

"This is so _boring__._" Rainbow blew a breath upwards, sending her forelock upwards until it covered one of her eyes.

Rarity glared at the bored pegasus, now. "_Rainbow __Dash__, __if __you __don__'__t __stop __that __behavior __immediately__-_"

"Additionally," Twilight was nearly shouting into the microphone, "those two classes will be mixed so that everyone will not be divided completely by what set of classes they have so that-" She looked at her friends. "-uh, we can all get to know each other..."

To the side, Rainbow Dash was being quietly berated by Rarity _and_ Applejack; Pinkie Pie looked ready to burst into a fit of giggles, and Fluttershy was trying desperately to disappear completely off the stage.

"...betterandbecomegoodfriends. Iiiii-think-that's-enough-for-tonight-don't-you-think? Gentlecolts-if-you-would-please-go-through-the-right-exit-Big-Mac-will-take-you-all-to-your-dorms-for-your-stay-here-and-Cheerilee-is-on-the-left-exit-to-lead-the-ladies. We'll-see-you-all-tomorrow-morning-nice-bright-and-shiny-early-have-a-good-night!" With that, she dropped the microphone and they all disappeared from the stage.

A beat passed, then another. Glyph walked across the stage, telekinetically scooping up the microphone. "Ah, one more announcement, before you go, I think?"

She passed it over to Iron Gall, who was speaking quietly with the Princesses. "—still not really sure he should be in charge of—ER!, ahem, yes. I, uh, almost forgot." The gray pegasus turned to face the audience, which had frozen mid-rise. "You shouldn't have to worry too much about being so close to the Everfree Forest, we have the Diamond Dogs running campus security, and they've proven well up to the task so far. But I feel it safe to warn all the students not to... _bother_ overmuch any of the canons. They are here as volunteers to help you learn, and should any of you persist in harassing them..." He stomped a hoof on the stage, and a spotlight snapped on, lighting the very far right edge of it. "They're not the only volunteers here."

Standing in the circle of light were two ponies who would have looked fairly innocuous in any background crowd—one, an earth pony with a coat the color of old paper and dark blond hair, the other a unicorn with a long reddish-brown mane and a silver-white coat. They had been talking between themselves, but as the light snapped on, they turned their attention to the student body. The only things truly abnormal about them were the looks they gave—hard, and cold, unlike anything normally seen on a pony's face—and the vests they wore, black one-piece outfits with no adornment save for three large gold letters on the right shoulder, easily readable even from Heather's position halfway up the auditorium: "P P C".

A few scattered gasps and moans could be heard throughout the auditorium—not many, but a few. Iron Gall fluttered his wings slightly at the response. "Evidently some of you have already crossed paths with Agents of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum. For those of you who haven't, the details can wait—it is frightfully late—but they will be acting as security for the security, as it were. And I should warn you, their tolerance for nonsense is much lower than mine is." He lowered his head, glaring over the tops of his glasses, and every pony in the hall suddenly felt like he was staring straight at them. "Do not _test_ them."

Then he raised his head again and smiled, the flint suddenly gone from his eyes. "Well, that about wraps it up. As Ms. Sparkle said, the boys should go with Big Mac, the girls with Cheerilee. I'll see you all _bright__and__early_ tomorrow!"

As she got out of her seat and trotted over to where Cheerilee was waiting, Heather could feel that deep sinking pit in her stomach develop further. _This __isn__'__t __going __to __be __easy__._

* * *

><p>We are still taking applications for students.<p> 


End file.
